My terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

It's not the big things that make it a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  Yet, today felt like a terrible day.  No one died or was diagnosed with a terminal illness, there were no car accidents or natural disasters affecting me, my family, or closest friends that I am aware of.

Alexander once had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  His started off like this "I went to sleep with gum my in mouth and now there is gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on my skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell that it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."  In case you aren't familiar, Alexander is the character in a children's book by Judith Viorst.... just to give credit where credit is due.

Keeping with Alexander's theme, here is how my day started off.  "Gavin had his first BIG temper tantrum this morning which lasted 45 minutes which meant that he didn't take a morning nap and I didn't get laundry started and then we went to the doctor's office where he got his 1 year vaccinations and while I held him down he looked at me with the terrible "Mommy, why are you letting them do this to me look" and when I went to give him some medicine to make him feel better, there were no medicine droppers because an un-named 4 1/2 year old has thieved them all to use as toys or swords or something and Gavin wouldn't take the medicine out of the cup.  UGH.  Then we took the super long way walking to Elijah's friend's house because I forgot one of the roads doesn't connect (which made Elijah mad, as well as making us late for the play date) and when we got home Gavin didn't take his afternoon nap either but instead cried and fussed so I still didn't start laundry.... or dinner.  To top it all off when we went to swim lessons Elijah was put back in the class that he just passed a week ago instead of moving up to the next level.  After little success with talking to the teacher, I may have called my hubby nearly in tears about my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Thankfully, now the little guy is in bed and my long day no longer seems like it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  I can now smile and see that it was not all that bad.  I am blessed.  I have food to feed my family.  I have a place to live and I love our little family like crazy.  Nope.  It was really not a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day at all.  I am glad that Elijah has enough creativity to use the medicine droppers to ward off the 'bad guys' that may come to our house, although I do think I need to curb that so he uses something a little less essential (oh, and maybe find the lost ones?).  I admit, I don't love the tantrums or nap-skipping, but I am SO happy that Gavin is a part of our family.

Long story short, I know that the days of raising our little boys are going to pass so quickly.  I am at some point going to miss the craziness of days like today, no doubt in my mind.

Now that I have processed all that and my heart is feeling full again, I'll close with some photos of the boys from the past week.  Really, how can I not smile when I see things like this?  :)

Yes, we lost his mittens so he is wearing socks on his hands.  They work.

Everything is better when shared!  :) (That's G's birthday cake)

He is going to work; just like Daddy. 

And now, back to that laundry.

Mostly snowy/rainy with a chance of sunshine.

Current weather outside out our front door.  We have snow flurries daily lately.

Our happy little region of the country 'boasts' that there are over 300 days of sunshine per year here.  It is on the website of nearly every vacation destination in the area.  According to my calculations, they are LYING. 

Check out the 5 day forecast:

Rain / Snow Showers Rain / Snow Snow Partly Cloudy Showers 39°F 39° 41° 46° 45° High High High High High 32° 29° 28° 33° 35° Low Low Low Low Low

We have lived here for nearly 4 months and this is what the forecast has looked like nearly the entire time. Although the sun does peak out from behind the clouds on occasion, there are very few days that I would classify as "mostly sunny".  Maybe I would buy it if I had moved here directly from Iowa (which I remember as being overcast a lot of the time), but having come from Colorado's bright blue sky, barely a cloud to be seen, sunshiny days, it doesn't compare.

That being said, the weather is not terrible by any means and it is still relatively mild.  Nothing to complain about.  I just don't see how the advertisement of more than 300 days of sunshine per year can possibly be accurate.  And just like my 4 1/2 year old, I really want the 'signs' or advertisements to be accurate.  Come on people.  :)

Playing House.... No one plans to be a birth mom.

Taking a little break from the standard "Wacky Wednesday" to a post something I had written a few months back.  Today seems like a fitting day to update it and share.....

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I have this feeling that although there are thousands of little girls out there playing house right now: wrapping up their baby dolls, giving them their bottles, going grocery shopping and loving their "husbands" (the poor little boy down the street who got roped into playing house with her).... not one of those little girls is thinking "When I grow up, I want to be a birth mom.  I want to choose life for my child and then trust another family to raise him/her because in my current life situation I am unable to." Nope.  The little girls out there are not saying that.

I think when we (as a culture) think about adoption, we think about the adoptive parents and the orphans.  We think "there are kids who need a home and amazing adults who want to love and parent these kids".  We envision orphanages in other parts of the world where there are babies lined up wanting and NEEDING someone to love them.  We envision teenage girls in the US who don't have an abortion for whatever reason and are in a place where they are unable to parent their child.  An adoption plan is made and another couple's dream to have a child comes true.  Life continues.  The equation works out.  Child needs home.  Parents want child.  All is well.

What we don't usually think about is this: There is a mother who gave life to her child and is now saying good-bye to that child on one level or another.  During the days following birth, this mother may be dropping her child off at an orphanage, choosing a family through an adoption agency or leaving her baby with a social worker.  In many cases (especially international adoptions) she will never see that child again.  But my guess is (speaking as a mother), she will never forget about that child.   She will move on with her life, she may medicate herself in one way or another for a time (exercise, avoidance, alcohol, meds, work, travel, whatever it may be) just as we all do when we are dealing with loss. Time will pass, but I don't think she will forget?  Will she?

I would guess, and the books I have read support, that at some point in every adopted child's life, he or she feels the loss of not being raised by his/her biological parents.  I know that loss is different for each person.  For some people it will define who they are.  For others, it will merely be a small piece of their identity.  But no one can take away the reality - there is loss.

So, today is a very bittersweet day for our family.  It was one year ago today that our amazing, beautiful baby boy came into this world.  After a mere 5 days in the hospital with him, his birth mom handed him to Marty & me and trusted us to take care of her son.  She has trusted us to love him and nurture him and for me, to be his Mommy.  I love being his Mommy.   I also love acknowledging that there is a very special woman out there who also loves him very much.   She made the choice, first to give him life and then to give him a life she could not.  When she made this choice, she became his birth mom.  If she had not, she would simply be his mom.  We will never forget the difficult choices she made and the love that we share for our baby boy.

Happy birthday baby G!  We are so glad that you are a part of our family.  

Lovin' his new toys!

Although he smashed it, he never actually tried any of the cake.  I think it was too late in the day for him.

G on his birth day!  One year ago today. 

Wacky Wednesday #13: Dollar Store Drama

It all started simply enough.   We were going on a road trip and I picked up some "Space" flashcards from the dollar store.  Elijah really enjoys looking at them and we get them out and read them every once in a while.  Simple.

Then it started.  Last week at preschool he learned a song about the planets in the solar system.  I was not there for it, but another mom reported it went something like this.  They are learning the song and Elijah raises his hand to report "But Pluto is not actually a planet.  It should not be in our song about the planets."  It cracked me up to realize that he was able to take the info from his little flash cards and apply it to a song he was learning at school.  From there I thought it was just going to drop.

Nope.  I was wrong.  It has since been a daily topic of conversation at our house. 

When we are driving home yesterday he tells me "Mommy, our family needs make a decision if Pluto will be a planet in our house or not."  Apparently they are still talking about it at school and it is not a cut and dry thing.  Some scientists still consider it a planet, not a plutoid or dwarf planet.  It is the like the tomato debate: Fruit or Vegetable?  (Did you know the Supreme Court ruled it a vegetable?  It was an issue due to tariff laws.  I digress.)

Huh.  Not something I've ever really considered or have any passion level about.  I told Elijah he could just decide. 

He responded emphatically "No Mommy, our whole family needs to decide."

So, I'm not sure if we need to schedule a family meeting for this or what.  At the moment I'm just taking the lead of the 4 1/2 year old.

He did (completely on his own) take 2 flash cards to school today.  The ones that talk about Pluto now being classified as a Plutoid or a Dwarf Planet.  

I guess the important question of the day "Is Pluto a planet in your house?".  The vote is still out in ours apparently. 

You just play with toys all day?

A few weeks ago I found myself out to dinner with some gals - none of whom were moms.  A very sweet, well-meaning-single-thirty-something-woman asked "Do you just play with toys all day?"  The conversation shifted, so I never actually answered the question, but it has had me thinking for the past couple weeks.

I have to make a conscious effort to actually get down on the floor and play with my kids each day.  So, what do I actually do all day?!?!

What is the best way I could describe raising a toddler (G is definitely past the baby phase) and a preschooler to someone without kids?  The best I can come up with: it is like the times that you come home from work and your pet (dog/cat) has gotten into something that they shouldn't.  And you have that "UGH" response.  That is kind of what things are like all day long here.

Prior to having a toddler/preschooler (these are all real events occurring within the last couple days):
* The toilet paper was always on the roll.  Not all over the floor.

* I never found my socks mixed in with my pots & pans.
* My shoes were usually in the closet/entryway.  Together.  Happy.  Now they are commonly found in separate locations throughout the house.

* I never climbed in bed at night to find my <child's> mittens under my pillow.  
* I used my salad spinner to spin salad.  Never did I think that it would be awesome to spin matchbox cars.  (Which it is.)  When it came time to use it, it was in the cupboard; not under someone's bed. 
* Cupboards were used for storage.  I never emptied them out and played in them.  Though I think I should have, it looks like a lot of fun.

* Kids eat constantly.  I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen, cutting fruits/veggies, etc into tiny toddler sized bites.
* I never looked for my kitchen towels under my bed. 

* I didn't ever take an egg carton to the bathroom and try to fill it with water (don't try this experiment unless you really like cleaning up soggy cardboard). 

* I never saw the fun in "decorating for Christmas" year round by putting silly bands and beaded necklaces on all the cupboard knobs & door handles.  Making it impossible to open them easily. 

Similar idea.  This weekend when Elijah went out to grab something from the truck.  He instead stayed out there decorating.  Marty went out to see what he was doing and this was it!  :)

You get the idea.  It cracks me up (and sometimes makes me feel like I am losing my mind).  In the mornings and early afternoons I am really good at retrieving said items and putting them back in their homes.  By late afternoon/evening, I just giggle and leave the socks with the pots and pans.  Really.  Then I can see them the next day and giggle again.

And you wonder what I am doing while the kids are having all this fun?  I 'usually' know what is going on, but decide to just allow it so that I can shower, get dressed, clean the kitchen, pay the bills, or cut the food into toddler sized bites without G screaming that he wants up or E whining that he is bored.  And I choose that I will just clean it up later.... sometimes that means later in the week.  :) 

A final common "ugh" momentt: *When I stepped in something wet on the floor prior to having kids, I assumed it was water, not an unknown bodily fluid.  Which brings us to the quote of the weekend.  As I'm getting ready to walk out the door to run some errands and Marty is staying home with the boys I ask if he is overwhelmed or doing okay.  He responds (rather sassily) with "I was FINE until I stuck my finger in POOP!"  That sums it all up.

I love my kids.  And the fact that they make me giggle every day.  I will take the "ugh" moments they give me every day.... and next time someone single asks me what I do all day, I'll know to start my response with "Do you have a pet and does it ever get into things it shouldn't?"

You know what would be REALLY bad?!?

That was Elijah's question to me last week on the drive to preschool.

We were in the middle of a conversation that we have pretty regularly, discussing things in life that aren't fair.  It always starts one of two ways:

Option 1. Elijah says something is "NOT FAIR".  He rarely uses these words any more because whenever he does he is quickly reminded that he is very blessed and we then go through and talk about things that are truly NOT FAIR.  At that moment, he never wants to be reminded of those things - he just wants the candy or toy or to stay up late....whatever it is at that moment.

Option 2. (As it was this day) We see someone on the side of the road with a sign asking for money/food/help (aka panhandling) and we go into the discussion of things in life that aren't fair. 

This list generally includes things like homelessness, children who don't have enough food to eat, kids that don't have a mommy or daddy..... serious, heavy stuff.

Elijah gets quiet for a moment and then says "Mommy, do you know what would be REALLY bad?  If people lived in a place where there were no signs to tell them the correct things to do.  That would be REALLY BAD!!!!"

I chuckled to myself.  He is saying this in all seriousness.  This kid lives for signs and labels to tell you the correct thing to do.  I think I exploit that characteristic in him.  For example, he really wants a Nerf dart gun.  I pointed out the box says it is for kids 8+.  So, he wants it for his 8th birthday... it obviously would not be safe for 4 1/2 year old.

You should see what happens when Gavin gets a hold of a toy that has the "no babies" warning.  Elijah kind of freaks out..... he will yell "MOMMY, GAVIN HAS A TOY THAT IS NOT SAFE FOR BABIES!!  HE MIGHT GET HURT!!!!"   Again, very serious.  If there is a sign it is set in stone.  There is no discussion around it - that is how he views the world.

Maybe he can be a lawyer or something......

Wacky Wednesday #12: Pedestrian Crossing

For anyone new to reading this little bloggy-blog.... on Wednesdays I'm 'committed' to writing about something kind of wacky that we have discovered since our move to the wonderful state of Oregon.  I'm only on week 12, so we'll see how long I can keep this up.  :)

The residents in our little Oregon town take the "Pedestrians have the right of way concept" to an entire new level.  Enough so that someone was kind enough to give Marty the heads up about when we first moved here.  Marty passed the info on to me and my thought was "not a big deal.... really?".

No really.  It is OOC ("out of control" for anyone who isn't up on the latest, coolest abbreviations).  Seriously to the point that I think it causes safety concerns for pedestrians and drivers.  Maybe I am being dramatic.... but I think it is NUTS.  Here are some examples (it is the worst in the downtown area, but bad other places too - maybe just the West side of town?):

*On more than one occasion in the little downtown area, a driver in front of me has STOPPED at a GREEN LIGHT to let a pedestrian cross in the crosswalk.  Seriously.  WHAT?  How is that a good idea?  I cannot even wrap my mind around that one.

*There was one evening when I parked downtown just across the street from where I was wanting to go.  I technically should have walked over the closest crosswalk to safely cross the street, but I just wanted to wait for a break in traffic (which is not that intense) and dart across.  Cars were slowing to stop for me to cross, so I felt the need to kind of hide behind the car next to mine so they wouldn't stop (because I think it is ridiculous & not safe).  Cars do that all the time.  ALL the time.  Just STOP, wherever they are, to let a pedestrian cross. 

* As mentioned previously in a Wacky Wed post, there are a lot of traffic circles here.... which mean very few stop lights.  And a lot of pedestrian crossings just scattered throughout the roads.  Even the more "major" roads (we're not talking four lane here... just speed-limit-35-major road or heavily-traveled-numerous-traffic-circle road).  Many people use the crosswalks, but some don't.  They just wait on the side of the road and cars will stop for them.  In the middle of a "major" road.  I am guessing this is more a "West-side" problem, but I don't know for sure?

Maybe I am more passionate about this then I need to be.... and maybe I'll get more used to it with time.  Right now, I feel like there should be signs on the back of all cars that yield to pedestrians at green lights or places other than designated crosswalks:

"CAUTION, THIS VEHICLE MAKES FREQUENT, SUDDEN AND UNPREDICTABLE STOPS FOR PEDESTRIANS"

It does make me a much more alert driver because I never know when someone ahead of me is going to stop. I personally only stop for pedestrians waiting at a crosswalk and I do not stop if I have a green light (come on people, they have a "Don't Walk" sign).