Parenting 101

DISCLAIMER:  Marty has dutifully (and rightfully) stated that this entire event probably merits about 37 seconds worth of thought.   Not an entire blog post and definitely not this much analysis.  But that is what I do, I am a woman/mom.  You have been warned.  :)

I think I have learned an important parenting lesson this week.

A couple months ago, Elijah began swim lessons here.  He started in Level 2.  At the end of class he got a little certificate saying he advanced to Level 3.  Sweet!  Way to go Elijah.  :)

He was loving it so I signed him up for Level 3 which started the following week.   We spent some time talking about getting to swim in the big pool, etc to get him all prepared. On the first day of class there was a couple minute assessment and he was placed back in Level 2.  After the class I talked to the teacher and told her the week prior he had finished Level 2 and the teacher had recommended he go on to Level 3.  So, the next class he was placed in Level 3.

He has been in the Level 3 class for the past few weeks.  He's enjoying trying out the big pool, learning to float, putting his head in the water, etc.  Yesterday before class the teacher went around and handed out mid-way progress cards.  I was sitting with some other moms and she gave each mom a little blurb about her kid and told her whether she should sign her child up for Level 3 or Level 4 next session.  She didn't give me a blurb.  She just handed me the card and said "he needs to do better with his kicking" and quickly walked away.  I looked at the card and it said for the next session he is eligible for Level 2.  What?

I was annoyed.  A month ago he got a card saying he passed Level 2, now he has *nearly* completed Level 3 (there are 3 classes left), and he is being told to go back to Level 2. Without any communication about it at all. 

Now, here is where the true personality/character flaw comes out in me and the parenting lesson comes in.  There are a few things about this that frustrate me, but a big (silly) one is that there obviously is not consistency between the teachers if one thought he was ready for Level 3 more than a month ago and a 2nd teacher thinks that after an additional 4 weeks of classes, he should still be back in the previous level.  Anyone who knows me well, especially someone who has been my co-worker, knows that this is totally the type of thing that would bug me.  Not to mention the fact that after 10 weeks of swim lessons Elijah would still only be eligible to complete the same class he had originally started in.  Or the fact that it might be confusing to him to go from getting to swim in the big pool to going back to the class where they go down the little kid's slide -- wait, he would actually probably enjoy that.

I ultimately decide that the swim director definitely will want to hear this feedback.  I wasn't upset and I honestly thought it would be helpful to her and beneficial to Elijah & other families.   Uhmmm.... I don't think she was very interested in my feedback, or maybe I didn't communicate very well.... or maybe I came across as a crazy woman who was much too concerned about her 4 1/2 year-olds swim lessons. 

The lesson I think I learned: teachers aren't going to be consistent.  One teacher is going to say my child is meeting expectations and then a 2nd teacher is going to come along and say that he is isn't.  I am either going to make myself and my children crazy, or I am going to accept this fact and just encourage my child to do his best.  While I think there might be times where I will need to step in and say something, for the most part I think my children and their teachers will be a lot happier if I don't point out my frustrations and their inconsistencies..... instead I may just need to focus on the fact that the current goal is that my child learn to swim.  Who really cares if he is in Level 2 or Level 3?  I'm pretty sure he doesn't.... at least not at this point.

Wow.  Glad I am learning that lesson now. 

It is a whole new ballgame now that being a parent is also involving how other people treat and respond to my child.  I'm not sure that I am ready for this one yet.  I am sure that I have a lot to learn.  I'm still not even sure that I know how to adequately parent without involving additional parties.

I am thankful that God has grace for me and all the parenting mistakes that I make.  We're only 4 1/2 years into this parenting journey and I am sure there are many more mistakes I am still going to make.  Glad we have a big God.

The "F word"

I forwarded this story to Marty a few weeks ago.  I read it on a blog somewhere and I really wish I remembered where it was from so I could link it.  But I don't, so I'll just copy the text.  I did change the names in it.  Worth the read and at the end it all relates back to our family....

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Andy picked Kyla up from piano lessons on Monday night.  He told me about the conversation that took place in the car on the way home. 

"Daddy, why do some people use words that we don't?"

"Like what words?" Andy inquired.

"Well, like the F word," Kyla responded. 

Andy was getting ready for a whole discussion of why we don't curse.  And so he started to explain how there are some words that are rude ways to describe things that aren't actually rude.

 Then Kyla said, "People in my class use the F word all the time, but I know it's bad."

Andy grew alarmed at that point.  What was going on in the first grade?  Kids were using the F word in class? He told me, "I decided to dig a little deeper, and I asked her to tell me what the F word was." 

Kyla shook her head vigorously.  "I can't say it.  I can't."

Andy reassured her, "I won't get mad.  You can tell me about anything, and you will never get in trouble for letting me know.  It's okay to tell me."

"I can't say it," Kyla whispered.

"How about if you spell it for me?" Andy suggested.

"Okay," Kyla finally said.  She took a deep breath.  "F - A - R -T"

As Andy recounted the story, I asked him, "Did you laugh?"

"I don't think I laughed, but I was very relieved."

"Thank God you asked her what the word was," I said. 

At dinner, we discussed the F word with Kyla and her sister.  We told them that our family uses the word "toot" instead of "fart" because we think "fart" is a rude word.  It made sense to Kyla.  She was comfortable not using the F word.  I pointed out that there are other words we don't use for the same reason, such as "shut up" for "please be quiet."

I have been musing about the incident for a few days.  It's funny; it's sweet, and it reminds me that for all her posturing about being a big kid, Kyla is really very young.  I am in no hurry for her to grow up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Our family also does not use the above mentioned "F" word.  Apparently Marty grew up with rules similar to the family mentioned above.  I did not know this early on in our marriage.  There was an incident when Elijah was a baby and he was exceptionally gassy while we were at my in-laws for a gathering.  I kept calling him a "farty" baby and using the word "fart".  I had never in my life heard it mentioned as being a bad word.

When we got back in the car that evening, Marty could not believe that I kept saying FART!   I thought he was completely nuts.  I imagine the conversation on the drive home was pretty interesting.

Yet, just today, Elijah asked if "fart" was allowed in our house.  Hmmm.... I guess we just say "toot".  I honestly cringe a bit when I hear him say "fart" now.  What has marriage done to me?!?  Does anyone else have discussion over using fart vs. toot?!?

Memory Lane

Early this morning Marty & I had a conversation that started with "What did we do before we had kids?".  I seem to have vague memories of sleeping until 6:30 or 7a when Marty would leave for work.  We both concluded that we DEFINITELY slept a lot more prior to having kids.  We were more spontaneous and did things like packed up on a Friday afternoon and spent the weekend camping.  I like being spontaneous and planning trips on a whim.... but as I am always reminded now when I try to do it - it is a lot more work when you involve two small children.  :)

Anyways, this conversation got me looking back at some old photos of our spontaneous, well-rested days.  Ahhhhh...... would never want to change how things are now, but it is fun to remember the ease of life prior to having kids.  :)

We did crazy things like hiked 14ers.  We haven't done that since having kids.

We camped with our friends Megan & Adam and their dog Kodi.  Before they moved back to Wisconsin.  :(

We spent a lot more time with our dog, Kiley.  We even took pictures of her.

Ahhh... she got so much love.  :)

We did home improvement projects ourselves.  We would NEVER attempt such a thing now.  No way.

We took silly picture at places like 'Wall Drug'.

I had roommates.  We once had our own ad campaign for "Rock Star Energy Drink".  I don't know how this came about, but the photos still make me smile.  :)

We went to San Francisco.  It was hilly.  We didn't have to push strollers or haul kids around, so the hills weren't a concern.  :)

We met some 'eldery & disabled elephants' on roughly the opposite side of the world (Sri Lanka).

Out to dinner in San Francisco.  I think we look really young.  Then again, it was 7 years ago.

Our first Christmas after we were married. With our dog, Kiley.

And something we definitely didn't do back in those days was even think about going to bed at 8:30p or 9p. Which is the norm many days. Adios!

Oregon Adventures

I do have some Wacky Wednesday things to post.... I know I have been slacking.  But for today, I'm just going to update with some photos of the last month or two.

Most weekends we try to go out on some sort of "Adventure" in this new place we call home.  There are so many fun things to do here - and so many opportunities to get outside, which is something our family LOVES to do. 

In the beginning of March we found the state park that is the home to Oregon's largest Ponderosa Pine.  Elijah loves to talk about how it is no longer the tallest because "the top fell off in a storm".   The road to get to it was closed, so we walked maybe a mile-ish (maybe less?) to get to it.  It was a great day, not to cold, and we got snowed on a little bit.   Lots of fun.

My mom came to visit while Marty went out to Colorado for a few days.  We loved having her here and she had a lot of fun playing with the boys.

I like to joke with Elijah that he is actually trying to catch the ball in his mouth.

We visited the local museum that we LOVE.  That day Elijah got to pan for 'gold' and then take it to the bank.  It was also another Elijah did his own hair day.  :)  Gotta love it.

Showing off his certificate he got from the 'bank'.

We go to this museum a lot.  In this display there is an old Western movie playing on a really old TV.  The boys are always captivated by it.  :)

 

If you want the fish at the museum to "talk" to you, you need to make this face at them.  Just so you know.

Trip to the coast while my mom was here.  It was really foggy while we were there, but still so worth it to get to go see the ocean. 

Stairs at the lighthouse, looking down.  Elijah went up/down them twice. 

We LOVE to bike around town and hopefully the weather will warm up enough soon that we can use our bike more!

Getting ready for a bike ride last weekend. 

Gavin is really close to walking on his own, but right now he just pushes things around the house. Including his big brother.

All these adventures sometimes really tire us out. 

 We also checked out some REALLY cool state parks in the area last weekend, but I forgot the camera.  We got an annual pass and I am sure that we will be spending quite a bit of time there.  It is only a short drive and there are some great hikes.  Not to mention that it is absolutely beautiful. 

Hopefully I'll be back with a Wacky Wednesday next week.  I've also got a "guest blogger" lined up sometime soon.   Get excited.  :)

Snow, snow, go away.

I am not one to complain about the weather.  But this is getting a bit ridiculous for me.  Our neighbor told me this week that she remembers times that it has snowed on the 4th of July.  There was a short break in the daily snow showers last week, but now they are back.  The snow doesn't stick around for very long, but still..... there is snow every day. 

These are from this morning.  Really.  It is April 8th.  Not my favorite.

"X" was the letter of the week at preschool.  :)

Just to whine a little bit more.  Here is the 5 day forecast in Colorado.

Partly Cloudy	Mostly Cloudy	Light Rain / Wind	Sunny	Few Showers
71°F	68°	55°	67°	67°
High	High	High	High	High
40°	39°	36°	40°	40°
Low	Low	Low	Low	Low

And the 5 day forecast here in Oregon.  At least it doesn't call for snow.  But apparently the mostly sunny report for the day is not aware that it is currently snowing at my house. 

Mostly Sunny	Mostly Cloudy	Few Showers	Few Showers	Mostly Sunny
49°F	52°	54°	44°	50°
High	High	High	High	High
28°	33°	36°	27°	32°
Low	Low	Low	Low	Low

I will be amazed if I don't see snow in the next 5 days.  I just don't believe at this point that it will ever stop.  Hmmm.... if only I could leave the kids somewhere and go ski.  Then I might enjoy it a little bit more.  But instead, we'll just make some snow angels and enjoy our hot chocolate.

There.  Done whining.  Welcome to spring in Central Oregon.  :)

You only turn one once.

Happy Birthday to Gavin (uhm, 2 weeks ago)!

We ended up primarily celebrating the day with our little family.  Elijah & I decorated the house with streamers, made a cake and at the last minute we even had some friends come enjoy cake and ice cream with us.  Oh - and, of course, even without a "party" there were still presents.  Elijah really enjoyed the days around G's birthday when we were getting packages delivered from family members who live out of state.  While not quite the same as a party, it is still a good time... and it got to last a few days past the day!  Even better!  :) 

Here is a little video with photos from the big day.  I cannot believe that he is already one!

Here are some stats about our little guy:  

He weighs in at 18lb 9.5oz and is 28.5 inches long. 

His first word was "up" (meaning, please pick me up) and he has quickly added "go" (said while pointing to door or window, insisting he should go outside).  He also says "toot" (after, well, tooting or passing gas... and then he giggles), as well as "dada" and most recently "mama".

He LOVES being outside.  LOVES it.  He spends most of the time we are inside pointing at doors or windows and saying "go".  If I don't respond to that request, he will sometimes even stand up at the door and cry.  He never tires of being out and about in the stroller or playing at a park and has even thrown temper tantrums when it is time to go home.

He eats a pretty good variety of foods and likes to try things off of my plate.  He drinks by himself out of sippy cup, but really wants to be able to master drinking out of a big cup.  So far that just results in him dumping the contents on himself, but he is determined to figure it out.  He no longer takes a bottle and he sleeps about 10 hours most nights.  Yay for (mostly) uninterrupted sleep!  :)

He took his first steps by himself on March 15th, but he still primarily gets around by crawling.  He likes to push chairs around the house to help him walk or he pushes around his walker toy.  He cruises around all the furniture and the walls too. 

Happy birthday little guy!